"Body Language – ‘Hands’ – How To Immediately Win More Negotiations" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Do you observe the body language of someone’s hands when you’re negotiating? To win more negotiations, you should listen to their hands! Hands convey a lot of hidden information in a negotiation.

There’s so much information conveyed by the way someone uses their hands. People use them to show appreciation by clapping. They display their hands to exhibit displeasure in other ways (i.e. sitting on their hands). They also use their hands when speaking? Hands give insight into the thought process that someone has. As someone is speaking, their hands add or detract from the message they’re delivering; you do the same when you’re conveying information, too.

When there’s a difference between someone’s words and their body language, pay more attention to their body language. It will disclose someone’s intent more than their words. Consider the following lightly when conversing with someone. Consider it more strongly when you’re negotiating.

Hands close to the body

The closer someone has their hands to their body, the more guarded are their thoughts. You’ll see this display when someone senses perceived threats to their well-being. Their hands are in that position to protect themselves from perceived indifference.

If you see this in a negotiation, it may behoove you to put the other negotiator at ease. Based on what caused him to display his guarded gesture, you may have to address that point before you can induce the comfort you seek to invoke in him.

Hands with interlocking fingers –

When you observe a negotiator in this position, he could be displaying a demeanor that states that he’s not open to your offer, suggestion, or counteroffer. To confirm your observance, consider questioning him about the meaning of his display (e.g. I noticed you have your hands closed and your fingers locked. That usually means that someone (use ‘someone’ to avoid ‘you’ – the latter may make him defensive) is not open to something that has occurred. Is anything wrong?). Then, note his response. If he unlaces his fingers and opens his hands, while saying everything is okay, ask him to proceed. Two things will have happened. One, you will have altered his body language, which will entice him to become more mentally receptive to you and your offers. Two, you will have given him the lead in the negotiation. Based on what he does with it, he’ll give insight about what caused the initial display that you brought into question. And, he’ll give vision to what he’d like to discuss. That will highlight what’s important to him.

Hands pushed away palms out

Take special note of this gesture because it indicates that the originator wants no part of what caused him to display the gesture. You can note future discernment by the degree that he forces this gesture outward. Also, be aware of this gesture when the other negotiator voices his assertion that he’s in agreement with you. In this case, his body language belies his true feelings. Believe that more than his words.

There are other hand gestures that give insight into a negotiator’s thought process. We’ll leave those to discuss at another time. For now, note the signals mentioned above. In so doing, you’ll be more perceptive. That will assist you in winning more negotiations… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

"Influence – How To Surprisingly Win More In A Negotiation" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

During a negotiation, you, and the other negotiator attempt to influence each other. Thus, you should always place a high value on using influencing strategies. You can increase the value of your negotiation outcomes by using the influence techniques that follow.

Psychologists have identified six forms of power that you can use as sources of influence in your negotiations. They are:

  1. Coercive power (threats & punishment) – With this form of power, you can force the other negotiator into a position of acceptance. But you should be mindful that you’ll more than likely not make a friend of him. Plus, by using threats and punishment as incentives for acquiescence you may become perceived as a bully – this may heighten your opponents need to seek pay-back. If that’s not a concern, recognize when this source of power is a viable influence tool. Just be aware of its blowback danger and how you use it.
  1. Reward power (ability to offer incentives) – Reward power can be very temporary. Its value will decline as the perception of the reward devalues. When using rewards as a source of influence, do so from two perspectives.
    1. Positive – “This is what you’ll get, something pleasant if you give me what I want.”
    2. Negative – “This is what you’ll lose if you forego my offer.”

  1. Legitimate power (influence based on your position or title) – The challenge with legitimate power is, one must accept it before it has authority. Therefore, if you have a position or title that’s not perceived as being valid, you’ll have little influence when attempting to use it in a negotiation. When using this source of power for influence, be sure to cast it in the light of perceived validity before the negotiation. That will enhance the respect and appeal of this power.
  1. Reverent power (influence based on your likability or admiration) – People that possess an affable personality tend to become better received by others. While reverent power has its place on the influence scale, some negotiators will dislike you for possessing this attribute. To have this influencer serve you better, balance it based on what’s occurring in the negotiation. When it suits your position, be reverent. When it doesn’t, discard it.
  1. Expert power (influence based on your knowledge and skills) – The perception of expert power can be fleeting – because, it’s situational. It lasts for the time that your knowledge is needed. In a negotiation, if a seller or buyer can acquire what she seeks from another provider, your power erodes. When using expert power, be strategic. Use it sparingly in situations that are warranted.
  1. Informational power (not tied to your competence) – This can be power derived from ideas, opinions, access to thought-leaders, and influential people you meet and have access to. This form of influence is most powerful when the other party wants access to the information you possess. Its power becomes enhanced when you’re the only source that can grant access to what’s sought.

As in any negotiation, the manner of influence you use should be determined by the personality type that you’re negotiating against. Thus, to be more influential, you must know what will motivate that individual. One way to determine that is to evaluate whether the person is a giver or taker – the giver seeks power for the sake of helping others – the taker does so for the benefit of himself.

Once you have that knowledge in hand, you’ll have the key to which combination of influence to use. That will lead to more winning negotiation outcomes… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Listen to Greg’s podcast at https://anchor.fm/themasternegotiator

How To Use ‘Even-If’ To Win Hard Negotiations – Negotiation Tip of the Week

To what degree do you seek creative solutions when involved in hard-nosed negotiations? Such negotiations can be extremely demanding and fraught with stress. When coupled with someone that’s a hard-type negotiator (i.e. a negotiator that either has a zero-sum perspective of the negotiation or someone that thrives on being obstinate in a negotiation), you can find yourself making unplanned concessions if you’re not mindful of what you’re doing.

One way to employ a creative solution when involved in a hard negotiation is to use the ‘even-if’ strategy. It can quicken the pace on the path to a successful negotiation outcome. While it can be a viable ploy for you, you need to also be watchful of it being used against you.

What is the ‘even-if’ strategy:

Stated succinctly, the even-if strategy allows its user to stealthily subordinate the other negotiator’s proposition to his. The strategy avoids potential conflicts that might occur if the other negotiator’s point was addressed prior to addressing yours. Thus, using this strategy successfully, allows you to put your point into the forefront of the discussion and it alters the flow of the negotiation.

How to use ‘even-if’:

The strategy can be used to make your point prior to addressing the other negotiator’s perspective. It’s done in the hopes that your point will dilute or alter his thought process. To use the strategy, you can say something akin to, “even if we could save $10 million by accepting your offer, at this time, we do not have that much money to invest. I suggest we look at a solution that may be closer to the $5 million threshold.” By doing this, as stated above, you’ve repositioned yourself and his offer by utilizing this strategy in this manner.

Best time to employ ‘even-if’:

Anytime you wish to subordinate the opposing negotiator’s point or request to yours, is a good time to employ this strategy. While this strategy can be used at any point in any negotiation, it’s even more powerful when used with someone that’s aggressive or someone that attempts to bully you. In that case, the strategy calms the bully. You’re not stating that he’s crazy or irrational for making such an outlandish request, you’re first acknowledging him from a respectful aspect and simply stating that you can’t meet his offer. In so doing, you potentially side-step any aggressive behavior that might stem from his otherwise abusive demeanor.

How to defend from ‘even-if’:

Since this strategy is used to put one proposition on the table for discussion ahead of another, you should be mindful of when the other negotiator attempts to use this strategy against you. The way to defend against it is to simply state, ‘Okay, let’s discuss your point next.’ You can use the tonality of your voice to position this as a request or a statement. Then, go right into the point that you wanted to discuss. A smart negotiator may not let you get away with your attempt to place your agenda ahead of his. Thus, you must be prepared to decide if you’ll acquiesce on one point to receive a concession on your request later. Therein lies another way you can use this strategy. If you get into a give-and-take as to whose point will be discussed first, you can present a point that’s nothing more than a red herring to be sacrificed for this purpose.

Even if (wink) you never use this strategy, knowing about it will make you a better negotiator… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

#negotiatingwithabully #bully #bullies #bullying #uncoversecrets #hiddensecrets #Negotiation #Personal Development #HandlingObjections #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology