Why Head Nodding Is Really Powerful In A Negotiation – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“I didn’t realize it at the time, but his head nodding really affected me during the negotiation. I almost felt like I was hypnotized.” That’s the power of head nodding in a #negotiation.

If used right, head nodding can be a really powerful gesture in a negotiation. If used excessively, it can give the appearance of a know-it-all that knows a lot about nothing but thinks he does; that could give the impression that the person doing the nodding is self-centered, egotistical or a BS artist.

Continue reading to discover why, if done right, head nodding in a negotiation is such a powerful ploy to employ in a negotiation.

Head Nodding Implication:

When you’re engaged in a negotiation, nodding your head as you make a pronouncement lends credence to what you’re conveying. The subliminal message that’s conveyed is, I really believe what I’m saying is true, and I’m committed to my statements. Your challenge is to dissect when the real truth is reality, versus the other negotiator attempting to convince you that what he’s saying is reality.

Right Way To Use Head Nodding:

The best way to promote this gesture is to smile and maintain eye contact with the other negotiator as you’re speaking. To enhance the effect, pause for 1 second as your speaking to denote something important is about to be said. Then, as you make that pronouncement, nod your head to emphasize the point. The combination of the head gesture, smiling and maintaining eye contact as you deliver your statement will have a hypnotic effect on the person with whom you’re speaking.

It’s also worth noting that people who are aligned with what you’re saying when you display a head nod will tend to nod back at you. Their gesture not only serves as confirmation that they agree with you, at that moment, they’re also allowing you to lead them. Thus, it behooves you to observe to what degree your negotiation companion nods in return to your head nodding.

Wrong Way To Use Head Nodding:

Nodding excessively will dilute the emphasis that such a gesture has during a negotiation. Therefore, don’t nod too frequently. Doing so could cause the other negotiator to nod off, which means he’ll pay no attention to your nodding gestures. Another thing to consider is what words you choose to emphasize when making this gesture. If the action is synchronized with the wrong word(s), you could end up shifting the perception of what’s important. In that case, you’d have your negotiation counterpart psychologically wondering exactly what you’re attempting to convey and where you’re headed.

A lot of information is conveyed through the gesture of head nodding. Be mindful that good negotiators may attempt to use this gesture as a tactic to assess to what degree, and when, you might follow their lead. Thus, you must be alert to the way you respond to such action; your reaction or lack of will emit a signal that can be used as a gauge by the other negotiator.

If you want to enhance your believability during a negotiation, nod when making statements that you want others to believe in. That simple gesture, accompanied by strong eye contact and a smile while delivering your message, will enhance your negotiation efforts… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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"Negotiate More Effectively By Knowing How To Act Better" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Do you plan how you’ll #act when you #negotiate? What #role do you decide you’ll play? Knowing the right role to display will allow you to negotiate better. Although you can’t predict every circumstance that you’ll encounter in a negotiation, the better prepared you are, the better your act will be.

Your act:

Everyone plays a role during a negotiation. And, your role should align with how you wish the other negotiator to perceive you; that’s your act. You should not view it as bad or inauthentic; it’s an act. If it’s misaligned, you run the risk of weakening your position. As an example, you shouldn’t become a bully if you’ve been playing the role of someone that’s helpful. That would be a misalignment.

Consider the following and keep in mind that you can morph from one act to another. Just be sure there’s an easily perceived reason for doing so.

  • Nonchalant

You can adopt this act to project a ‘no-care’ attitude (i.e. if it happens, fine – if it doesn’t, fine). You might employ this demeanor when you wish to confuse the other negotiator about your real interest in what he’s offering. Make sure not to become unmasked by being too deep into the role. Because a fleeting offer may disappear before you can shift acts.

  • Defiant

“I won’t accept that offer under any circumstances!” Be cautious when adopting this act. It can leave you in a position that’s difficult to retreat from. While this can be a good tactic, if it’s overused and you must concede, you’ll be weaker throughout the rest of the negotiation.

To combat the perception of being in a weaker position, consider feigning momentary hopelessness. It’ll lend credence to your act. But you must attempt to regain your defiant act, be it from a less entrenched position, to regain your position. You’ll only be able to use the hopelessness ploy once, twice if you’re overly convincing. So, be mindful of how and when you employ it. If you do so too early in the negotiation, you’ll lessen its effect later. If you do it too late, you’ll bring additional scrutiny upon your act.

  • Helpful

Most people like helping people. It’s a characteristic that’s pleasing. It’s also a characteristic that some people despise. Thus, you must know when to be a helpful actor and when to drop the act.

Dominant negotiators, the bullying type, tend not to want help. They already know what’s good for the negotiation. From their perspective, your insights will only hinder the process.

Invoke the helpful act with collaborative negotiator types. They seek input to promote win-win negotiation outcomes. To better effect this act, consider when you’ll lead and when you’ll follow. To follow, ask the other negotiator for her opinion. Then, build on it. To lead, present a non-threatening offer and ask your collaborator what she thinks of it. Build on what she says.

  • Dominant

Most people don’t like to be dominated; it places too many restrictions on them. Nevertheless, acting dominantly versus someone that’s savvy and in control can have its benefits. The difference lies in whether you’re perceived as being overbearing, strong-willed, or just knowledgeable. To effect this act, attune yourself to the other negotiator’s perception. There can be hidden value in this role. Knowing how and when to uncover that value makes it more valuable.

The stage you’re in, in the negotiation, should direct how you act. Like a good director, if you time your actions appropriately, your actions will be more believable. That will lead to more winning negotiation outcomes… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

Expert Advice On How To Negotiate With A Bully – Negotiation Tip of the Week

Follow this expert advice to negotiate with a bully.

  1. Differentiate between a bully that may be controlling versus bullying. Some people don’t see themselves as bullies. They may be the type that likes to be in control of situations and display overly aggressive means to maintain that control. The two perspectives possess different mindsets.
  2. Identify the personality type of the bully you’re negotiating with (you’re always negotiating). Thus, even in your first encounter with a person (and after that time), you should assess that person’s traits, demeanor, and characteristics. Doing so will give you the insight needed to formulate a negotiation strategy.
  3. Determine the best environment to negotiate with a bully. He may be stronger in one environment as the result of resources surrounding him or those he has to ‘save face’ for; this may also tend to make him cockier than he’d normally be. If that’s the case, get him out of his environment; this should be done physically and/or psychologically. In doing so you’ll dilute his psychological powers and weaken him mentally in the process (i.e. power is perceptional).
  4. If addressing a bully on a one-on-one basis doesn’t achieve your objective(s), marshal forces to use as leverage against him. Depending on the situation, let those that he has more respect for take the lead on your behalf; never let a bully know how strong your forces are. You must be prepared to send in a second, third, fourth, etc., wave that’s stronger than what preceded it. For maximum effect, the timing of your next foray should occur just when the bully thinks he’s squashed your best efforts. In normal situations, over time you’ll wear the bully down and he’ll acquiesce to your wishes. Be mindful of the bully that won’t acquiesce over a period of exhaustive negotiations when forces have been marshaled against him. You might be dealing with a bully that’s willing to destroy himself for the sake of denying you any kind of victory. To prevent from making too many concessions, establish exit points that indicate when you should depart the negotiation. Always be mindful that, the longer you stay engaged in a negotiation, the likelier you are to make concessions to your disadvantage. This is due to the psychological need to see the negotiation to its end. This could be to your severe detriment.
  5. Once you’ve achieved your objective(s), over a period of time reengage the bully from a polite perspective and observe how he interacts with you. To the degree the relationship is important to you, be prepared to let him win an encounter, but never let him bully you again. Your prior actions should be engrained in his mind to the point that he’d not want to experience the prior encounter that you two engaged in.
  6. As further insight into the affects your engagement has had with a bully, note how those closes to the bully engage with you after an encounter. Their actions will allow you to assess the degree of sting that still resides in the bully.

Bullies only pick on those that they perceive to be weaker than themselves. Don’t let a bully perceive weakness in you and he’ll have no target to attack… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating.

#HowToNegotiateBetter #HowToNegotiateWithBully #PreventBullying