Why Head Nodding Is Really Powerful In A Negotiation – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“I didn’t realize it at the time, but his head nodding really affected me during the negotiation. I almost felt like I was hypnotized.” That’s the power of head nodding in a #negotiation.

If used right, head nodding can be a really powerful gesture in a negotiation. If used excessively, it can give the appearance of a know-it-all that knows a lot about nothing but thinks he does; that could give the impression that the person doing the nodding is self-centered, egotistical or a BS artist.

Continue reading to discover why, if done right, head nodding in a negotiation is such a powerful ploy to employ in a negotiation.

Head Nodding Implication:

When you’re engaged in a negotiation, nodding your head as you make a pronouncement lends credence to what you’re conveying. The subliminal message that’s conveyed is, I really believe what I’m saying is true, and I’m committed to my statements. Your challenge is to dissect when the real truth is reality, versus the other negotiator attempting to convince you that what he’s saying is reality.

Right Way To Use Head Nodding:

The best way to promote this gesture is to smile and maintain eye contact with the other negotiator as you’re speaking. To enhance the effect, pause for 1 second as your speaking to denote something important is about to be said. Then, as you make that pronouncement, nod your head to emphasize the point. The combination of the head gesture, smiling and maintaining eye contact as you deliver your statement will have a hypnotic effect on the person with whom you’re speaking.

It’s also worth noting that people who are aligned with what you’re saying when you display a head nod will tend to nod back at you. Their gesture not only serves as confirmation that they agree with you, at that moment, they’re also allowing you to lead them. Thus, it behooves you to observe to what degree your negotiation companion nods in return to your head nodding.

Wrong Way To Use Head Nodding:

Nodding excessively will dilute the emphasis that such a gesture has during a negotiation. Therefore, don’t nod too frequently. Doing so could cause the other negotiator to nod off, which means he’ll pay no attention to your nodding gestures. Another thing to consider is what words you choose to emphasize when making this gesture. If the action is synchronized with the wrong word(s), you could end up shifting the perception of what’s important. In that case, you’d have your negotiation counterpart psychologically wondering exactly what you’re attempting to convey and where you’re headed.

A lot of information is conveyed through the gesture of head nodding. Be mindful that good negotiators may attempt to use this gesture as a tactic to assess to what degree, and when, you might follow their lead. Thus, you must be alert to the way you respond to such action; your reaction or lack of will emit a signal that can be used as a gauge by the other negotiator.

If you want to enhance your believability during a negotiation, nod when making statements that you want others to believe in. That simple gesture, accompanied by strong eye contact and a smile while delivering your message, will enhance your negotiation efforts… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

#NegotiatingWithABully #Bullying #Bully #negotiations #Negotiator #HowToNegotiateBetter #CSuite #TheMasterNegotiator #psychology #CombatDisinformation #hardpower

"How To Out-Negotiate And Understand Powerful Handshakes" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“During our introduction, I felt uneasy. There was something in his handshake that made me think that he was attempting to project himself as being powerful. I wasn’t really sure what that handshake meant but I knew he was sending me a message.” Those were words spoken by a team member when recalling how he felt at the outset of a negotiation.

Handshakes convey hidden meanings. They are one aspect of body language that people should pay more attention to. They can make you feel powerful, be perceived as powerful, or make you appear weak.

Continue reading to discover the hidden meanings conveyed simply by shaking someone’s hand.

Meaning of Handshakes:

  • Hand on Top – One hand on top of the other person’s hand
    • Normally, the person whose hand is on top is signaling superiority. But, allowing one’s hand to be on the bottom can be a ploy to allow the other person to believe he’s in a superior position.

  • Hard – One that appears to be overbearing
    • A hard handshake can be a sign of attempted intimidation. It can also stem from someone that is naturally strong and unaware of the strength they convey when shaking someone’s hand.
    • One’s perception is what denotes the degree that a handshake is strong or overbearing. If you’ve had prior encounters with the other party and have shaken their hand, you have a basis for comparison in the present situation. If you don’t have that comparison, consider what a normal handshake would be like from someone of the same size, gender, and background.

  • Weak – Lacking power, dainty, gentle
    • Weak handshakes convey the exact opposite meaning of those that are hard. Again, don’t necessarily infer that someone is weak because they deliver a weak handshake. It may be the way they wish you to perceive them at the outset of your meeting.

  • Hand/Arm Jerk – While shaking the hand, a quick movement is made that pulls the hand quickly in a jerking motion in one direction and then pushes it backward in the opposite direction.
    • Sometimes, in a playful setting, friends will engage in such banter. In negotiation settings, this gesture is most likely a subtle signal that the one exhibiting it plans to keep the other negotiator off guard. Take note when receiving such gestures and compare it to what follows.

  • Firm – Not too hard, not too soft, both hands parallel to each other
    • In a negotiation, negotiators state through this gesture that they’re equal and respectful of each other.

The person holding the handshake the longest is the one controlling it – they’re stating that they’re not ready to let go. A normal handshake usually lasts for 3 to 5 upward and downward movements. Any more is excessive, which means it’s being done for a reason.

Here’s the rub. Just because someone extends a weak handshake doesn’t make them weak, nor does a strong handshake make them strong. It can all be a ploy. That means you can use this ploy as a tactic in your negotiations.

By understanding the meaning of handshakes, you understand more of what’s occurring. Thus, when someone shakes your hand, you can respond based on how you wish them to perceive you. That will alter the setting of any negotiation. That will also empower you… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

"Exercising Control Will Make You A More Powerful Negotiator" – Negotiation Tip of the Week

“Exercising Control Will Make You A More Powerful Negotiator”

The perception of power is a two-way process in a negotiation; the projector sees it from one perspective and the receiver views it from another. Based on the reaction of either, the perception gets revised and the loop continues. As a negotiator, to control the perception of power, control its flow.


There are potential perils to losing one’s temper in a negotiation. It’s the pitfall of losing control of the negotiation process. When a negotiator’s mind becomes hijacked by anger, it becomes less capable of reasoning. That can lead to unintended consequences. Even if you should become angered during a negotiation, maintain control of your emotions. Don’t allow your anger to be sensed or shown. The better you control that display, the less insight the other negotiator will have of your thoughts.

Presentation Order:

Power can be an enhancer or detractor based on the order of your offers/counteroffers. To enhance your power, depending on the circumstances, consider whether you’ll lead with your weaker or stronger offers. By controlling the order of your offers, you’ll have greater control of the negotiation. To enhance that effort, consider how you’ll escalate or de-escalate the pressure brought by the order of your offerings. You’ll be exercising the control of power and therein will lie the leverage you’ll gain from doing so.

Know What’s Important:

You derive power based on what’s important in a negotiation and to the degree you can fulfill the other negotiator’s desires. That means, you must align your offerings to match the needs of that negotiator. As an example, if you think the other negotiator’s main interest is monetary, and he’s really interested in the betterment of society, you’ll waste your efforts by attempting to maximize his monetary gains. Your perspective will not match his value proposition.

Always know definitively what is most important to the other negotiator before attempting to sway him with powerful offers. To do otherwise is to weaken your position and the power that it assumes.

Power Dilemma:

What should you do when the opposing negotiator’s position is as powerful as yours? You can feign weakness to get him to display the sources of his power; remember, power is perceptional – that means, you’re attempting to get him to display why he thinks his position is powerful. Once you acquire that insight, you’ll be in a better position to adjust and implement your negotiation plan to address his perspective.

On the other hand, you can adopt a power position by displaying your sources of power. If you do, be sure that your power will supplant his. If it doesn’t, once again, you’ll weaken your position.

In a negotiation, when you’re in a power position, if you use it wisely you’ll enhance its abilities. Conversely, if you’re perceived as being overbearing, you’ll diminish your power’s strength. In that case, others will eventually team up to combat your unruliness. They’ll fortify their barriers to thwart your power. Always be mindful of the flow of power, the source of that flow, and what it will take to control it. Doing so will allow you to enhance your negotiation efforts… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!